Beatdowns

Now, I’m the kind of man that wouldn’t harm a mouse /
But if I catch somebody breakin’ in my house /
I’ve got a twelve gauge shotgun waitin’ on the other side -Charlie Daniels

Watching United 93 awhile back, one thought raced through my mind throughout this disturbing movie: rush the hijackers and beat the living tar out of them. I was reminded of that this weekend while talking to two of my nephews, both of whom are in law enforcement.

One works at a correctional facility. He was recently involved in a situation where he and three other guards were bull rushed in an attempted ‘jailbreak’ by ~16 young men. He and another guard actually picked up one of the prisoners and threw him into an onrushing group of attackers. Yes, the old Bowling Ball Move! He was punched and kicked in the ribs, too. All this old-fashioned donnybrook needed was Batman TV effects (Pow! Bap!). My nephew’s verdict on all of this: it was a lot of fun!

The other nephew is in police training. He loves showing off his self-defense and neutralization methods, most of which hurt intensely if you are his demonstration partner. He cannot wait until he gets to, uh, use his moves for real. And I cannot wait until he gets a squad car.

Boys.

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